Gabe Reviews Horror

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #18: Dead Shack I have strong thoughts about this film, but I'm having trouble putting them into the right words. I'll start with the synopsis: A teen boy and his best friend's (?) dysfunctional family go on vacation out in the country, but their vacation is cut short when the neighbor turns out to be harboring a gaggle of zombies. Hilarity ensues. (Maybe not that last part. Except maybe yes.) Here's the biggest problem I had with this film: I can't remember the last time I've seen a movie try so hard to be funny (even movies in the comedy genre). On one hand this movie is partly a competently-shot zombie/slasher film; on the other hand, every single person on-set must have been told there would be a laugh track or something. EVERYONE is mugging for the camera at EVERY opportunity. Every other line is clearly meant to be a joke (and it all sounds scripted, so it wasn't just the a

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #17: The Forest The first thing I want to say is that this movie feels like it should be right up my alley. A movie about Aokigahara, the Suicide Forest? Sign me up! However, this movie makes some missteps (specifically, one misstep it makes over and over) that unfortunately keep it from being great. The Forest is about a girl who travels to Japan in search of her twin sister who lives there (?) and has recently gone missing. She finds out her sister went into Aokigahara, the spooky forest where people go to commit suicide, so our protagonist ignores all warnings and goes off anyway. Unfortunately for her, the spooky forest has some spooks and scares in store, and she just might have to come face-to-face with her haunting past in the process... The first thing that struck me about this film is how cavalier the main character is about all of the people's warnings; despite the fact that her sister has bee

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #16: Haunt So, while watching this movie I kept going back and forth between really enjoying it and being perplexed as to what kind of a movie I was watching. For much of the film it's a fun Halloween horror flick, but the tone and the style keeps changing and I can't tell how seriously it's taking itself. It's directed by Eli Roth so I'm inclined to think it's just having a good time, but some parts of it really turned me off and I'm not entirely sure why. Haunt is about a group of friends (question mark?) that go to a haunted house attraction on Halloween night, which starts off exciting but then the effects start getting a bit too realistic. If it had remained with that premise for the whole film (much like Hellfest, of which this movie seemed like a carbon copy for the first half hour) then I think I would've felt much more favorably towards it; but it becomes this self-s

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #15: The Other Side of the Door I think it's kind of amusing that twice in a row I watched a movie where the entire plot revolves around a mother whose son drowned and she refuses to let go. I mean, either the odds are incredibly low or there's an inordinately high number of horror films that follow that exact premise. So this movie is about a family who has moved to India, and their oldest son tragically died in a car accident. It's been some time, but the mother is still heartbroken, and following a suicide attempt the family's Indian housekeeper tells her of an ancient ritual that will allow her to talk to her son one last time from behind the closed door of an abandoned temple. Against the housekeeper's instructions, the mother opens the door, and in doing so releases some kind of a malevolent force that... I dunno, jump scares them a bunch? I'm not going to have a lot ot say abo

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #14: Before I Wake For much of this movie I felt that it wasn't quite a horror movie; after finishing it I looked up the IMDB trivia and apparently the director strongly objected to it being marketed as one. There are definitely some scary parts of this film, but those aren't really the focus and at its core it's a family drama with some supernatural elements. Before I Wake is a movie about a family that adopts a foster child who, as it turns out, has supernatural powers that bring his dreams (and nightmares) to life when he sleeps. At first they try to use this power to give them more time with their son, who died in an accident some time before, but then things turn sinister and the mom has to investigate into the boy's past to figure out how to stop this malevolent force that comes from his nightmares. First I want to say that I was not at all expecting such emotional weight in this movie

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #13: The Taking of Deborah Logan Hooray, more found-footage. I'm not really sure what overall thoughts to give other than "it's not as bad as most found-footage" but that isn't really meant as a compliment. I enjoyed most of the movie but it falls victim to so many of the problems other found-footage films do, and lots of standard horror tropes as well. I can't really think of much this film did that hasn't been done many times before. Let's start with the plot: A documentary crew are doing research on Alzheimer's, so they set up a long-term study on a woman named Deborah Logan, with the crew living in her house and documenting the progression of the disease. As her conditions begin to worsen, supernatural happenings start to occur, and eventually it's discovered that her condition and behavior are tied to this evil ritual attempted by a dying man many years ago. Th

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #12: The Emerging Past Director's Cut So, the only reason I know about this movie is because one of the listeners of my podcast knows someone who was involved in making it; that makes me feel like there is a non-zero chance of what I say somehow getting back to that person and I don't really plan on saying anything particularly good about this one. Apparently it won some film awards but I'll get this right out there: I really didn't like this movie. A lot of it might be personal gripes, but you can decide for yourself. (And there is a big twist- question mark? - that I do plan on spoiling. I'll try to save it until the end.) I think it's a little goofy that this film is titled (everywhere I could find anything about it) "The Emerging Past Director's Cut". There is a different movie called The Emerging Past that has nothing to do with this one; as far as I can find there

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #11: Ghost Stories I had heard about this movie when it first came out; I thought it looked interesting and figured I'd watch it sooner or later. However, I'd heard it got bad reviews, so I let it slip into the "later" pile. When I first started watching this today, I was kind of shocked that I had heard negative things about it- I didn't remember any specific criticisms, just the fact that it reviewed poorly- because it seemed good. It seemed really good, in fact. But by the end I understood. I'll get to why in a moment. I usually try not to give any spoilers in these reviews- often to the point where I feel like someone who hasn't seen the movie would have no idea what I was talking about because I kind of dance around things. I will give some spoilers for this film (maybe not all, but some) but I'll try to keep those until the end. I will just say: The ending of this fil

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #10: Brightburn I'm not sure where to start with this one, so I'll just get this out there: I loved this film. I'd heard the concept and wasn't suuuuper impressed (one-sentence synopsis: What if Clark Kent turned evil when he first developed powers) but the actual movie was great in nearly every way. The characters were all believable, the effects (when they were used) were amazing and often terrifying, and the ending was pretty much the only thing you could expect from something like this. I did feel at times that this movie was pretty predictable; but I don't mean that in a bad way. Like how the premise is pretty one-note, I could see just about every story beat playing out in my head the moment it was introduced; but because of how well-done the horror was, that just meant that I had a feeling of dread knowing how it was going to go but without anything I could do about it. And speaki

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #9: The Den First, a confession: I've seen this movie before. At least, I think I've seen this movie before. (The fact that I'm not 100% sure might give you an idea of how I feel about it.) From the beginning until the end it all felt very familiar, and there were a few parts where I was able to accurately say what was about to happen before it did. However, I'm not positive if that's because I've seen it before, or if it was just a stereotypical, predictable found-footage movie with nothing surprising or distinct about it. The Den is a found-footage movie about a woman who takes on a college grant project to meet as many people as she can through an online chat site (like Chatroulette but way more generic) and record everything that happens through her computer. It actually precedes movies like Unfriended and Searching by at least a year or so, which means that it at least gets a po

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #8: The Exorcist "But Gabe," I hear you saying. "Haven't you seen the Exorcist? Everyone has seen the Exorcist." Nope. Never saw it. I've seen about five hundred things that reference it (including an episode of Eek! The Cat that continually made "pea soup" references, which I did not understand for many years) but I've never actually seen this one. It's one of the many "classic horror" films I haven't seen, so I'm glad I was able to finally cross this one off the list. Now, I have mixed feelings about this movie. I can understand why it was so popular (after all, there were only like two mainstream horror movies at the time, of course this one was going to make a big impression) but I'm still at a loss as to whether or not I liked it. It was an incredibly slow burn (despite being called The Exorcist the topic of exorcism doesn't even c

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #7: Grave Encounters I'll get this right out there: I loved this movie. It's not perfect, but if you ever need evidence that there's a difference between good and bad found-footage I would compare this movie to something like The Dark Tapes. There are so many things this movie did that puts it above and beyond the others, that I'm shocked this wasn't a huge hit. Grave Encounters is presented as a ghost-hunting TV show about to do an eight-hour lock in inside an old haunted mental hospital. However, it begins with an interview with a TV producer explaining that this show had promise- but the episode we're about to see... turned out to be their final episode. We're shown some of the behind-the-scenes footage as they film the usual patter, paying the groundskeeper to fake a ghost sighting, asking some "random teens" about a spooky encounter they had, and having a resident

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #6: Dolls Today I watched Dolls (or as the version I downloaded was titled: Bonecas Macabras, as mine had hard-coded spanish subtitles). This was a fun movie- I spent most of the film thinking it was a Full Moon Pictures movie, as I saw Charles Band's name in the credits at the beginning, but no, this might have been too early for that. Whatever the case, it's the same kind of movie. This film follows a random group of travelers who get stuck on the road in a storm and take shelter in an old house owned by an old man and old woman who it turns out have a bunch of living dolls that (through the magic of stop motion animation and a healthy dose of ordinary puppetry) start killing people. Not something I've seen a million times, but once or twice at least. This movie gets an immediate point for having a character named Gabriel. However, it loses a point for having the most Sean Astin-looking Sean A

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #5: Deliver Us from Evil Okay: Don't worry, this review is going to be shorter than the last couple. And much more positive. Today's movie was Deliver Us from Evil, about a hard-working homicide cop from the mean streets of Brooklyn who gets caught up in a case that apparently involves demons from Iraq. Or something. Overall I thought this movie was very good. The characters do what they need to do, there is a good ratio of exposition to action, and the spookiness is adequately spooky. By the time the characters started getting to the bottom of things, I was hooked in, and although the religious aspects of the movie were a bit heavy-handed (what did I expect from a movie called Deliver Us from Evil?) it was all in service of the plot so I can't knock it too much. One thing that this movie made me realize with absolute certainty: I'm an absolute sucker for the part in a horror film where a ch

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #4: The Dark Tapes Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy. This is going to be a long one, so I apologize. I just spent about ten minutes searching the internet just to make sure that this movie was not, in fact, a satire of found-footage movies, intended to be the worst possible example of one so as to show people why found-footage movies are bad. So far, I have not been able to find adequate evidence. So I have to assume that this is just a bad, bad, bad movie. I spoke last time about my disdain for found-footage and I figured I'd bring up more of the reasons as the month went on. I had no clue that the immediate next movie would prove to be the poster child for every single thing I hate about found-footage movies. Since this review is guaranteed to be almost exclusively negative let me assure you, I'm trying to give all of this month's movies (even the found-footage ones) their fair shake. I know that I openl

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #3: Nightlight It's no secret that many of the movies recommended to me this month are found-footage movies; so with this being the first I'll get this right out there: I don't like found-footage. In nearly every case I feel that it's a lazy excuse to put less money and effort into the product while still expecting people to enjoy it because it's more quote-unquote "immersive" or whatever. I'm sure I'll talk more and more about my specific found-footage gripes with future movies, but I will say that although this particular movie certainly shows some of those problems, it's circumvented many of them in ways that I appreciate. Unfortunately I don't have much to say about this movie except for its use of the found-footage medium. The story is nothing particularly noteworthy (some friends are playing a game in the woods, the game turns too real and they get separat

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #2: Head Count I went into this movie with no expectations except for the knowledge of who recommended it (which, to be fair, was a high expectation in and of itself). I didn't know what kind of a movie it was, what type of horror to expect, or really anything beyond the title. The biggest compliment I can give to this movie is that it had a concept I'd never seen in a movie before. Where most movies take a well-worn trope and try to do it better than everyone else, this one was treading new ground and I think it did so admirably. (I suppose maybe you could argue that this is just a doppelganger movie, and there's plenty of those out there, but I don't quite think that fits.) Once I understood what I was in for I was constantly watching every frame, looking for clues that might hint at what was about to happen, and even wondering if I should go back and re-watch the film again and look for m

This review was originally written in October 2019. October Horror Movie Review #1: The Ritual I was going to watch this movie last week while on vacation but the version I'd downloaded was real choppy, so catching it on Netflix made for a good start to the month. Overall I liked this film; it didn't do anything new or exciting but most of what it did was solid and it reminded me of several other, better movies (which I mean in a good way). It definitely felt a lot like Blair Witch (both the original and the remake/boot from 2016)- friends on a hike in the woods get lost and encounter spooky stuff. It also reminded me of another movie called Witches' Night from 2007- a group of guy friends encounter some witch-y stuff on a camping trip and each of them gets cursed in a specific way- but where that movie focused on each of the men and their own failings as part of the ultimate ritual, this movie doesn't, really. The guy at the beginning injures his leg but it doesn't

So, remembering back to when I started doing these reviews, I feel like every year after the first I threatened to stop doing it. (It's a LOT of work, not just setting aside 1.5 hours out of the 24 we all get to sit down and watch a movie EVERY DAY, but also writing a review for each one, which can itself take an additional hour or more.) But I felt like every time I expressed an interest in not doing it that year, everyone within earshot would tell me that they really enjoyed reading my reviews so I should keep going. So I'm incredibly surprised to see that I don't seem to have a single review written for 2018, which I can only take to mean I just didn't do it that year. But the important thing is that I picked it back up in 2019, and boy did I come back full-force! While I hadn't yet started choosing movies along a particular theme (I'm pretty sure these were just movies that had been recommended to me) my reviews appear to be WAY more fleshed-out from this pe

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 28: Holidays This move is an anthology of like eight or nine short films, each based around a particular holiday (starting with Valentine's Day and going to New Year's Eve). I was pleasantly surprised by this- all of the films are pretty fun and none of them take themselves too seriously. Some have some incredibly unique takes on existing holiday concepts (like Easter featuring a rabbit-faced Jesus stealing a little girl in the middle of the night) and others use the holiday simply as a backdrop (such as New Year's being about the story of two serial killers going on a blind date on December 31st). Both kinds of takes are fun and done relatively well. I don't really have much negative to say about it except that some of the stories were just incredibly bizarre and/or having minor pacing or cinematography issues; but nothing that's so major it's worth getting upset over. I will say, thou

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 26: The Abandoned As with a lot of these movies, I noticed this on Netflix and it sounded interesting. Last night, after watching the first half an hour and kind of hating it, I put it down and came back to it tonight, to give it another chance. This movie is about a woman (named Streak... seriously people, why are all of these protagonists given such terrible names?) who takes a job as a night security guard in a gigantic abandoned apartment building. (I say "abandoned", but a building with a full suite of active surveillance cameras and two full-time security guards isn't what I would call abandoned.) An abandoned apartment building sounds like a rad setting for a horror movie, right? I'm picturing characters going into apartments, finding old belongings, it's probably haunted by the tenants, and so on and so on. Well, this movie gives us the best part of an abandoned apartment building

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 24: The Snowman First things first: This isn't really a horror film. I thought it was but it turned out to be more of a suspense/mystery movie instead. This film is based on one in a series of swedish crime novels about grizzled detective Harry Hole (another contender for worst protagonist name ever). In this story, he is investigating a series of disappearances primarily consisting of mothers from unhappy marriages (or something?). And- this part isn't really commented on in the movie and doesn't really amount to anything tangible- each disappearance is marked by the presence of a misshapen and rather awkward-looking snowman outside each person's home. While watching this film, I really enjoyed it. It's got a lot of things going on, a lot of subplots that all seem to be connected, and you're constantly kept wondering how it all fits together and who the killer is. Vague spoiler alert: