Review #118: Return of the Living Dead (1985)

This review was originally written in October 2021.

October 2021 Horror Movie Review #4- The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

Hooooooly crap I was not expecting this film.

I've read about how John Russo and George Romero decided to create two different sequels to Night of the Living Dead, with Romero creating Dawn of the Dead and Russo creating The Return of the Living Dead. After watching Dawn and Day and seeing how so much of modern zombie lore stems from them, I assumed this movie would be a similarly-paced, similarly-themed movie (just with different lore or rules or whatever).

Boy was I wrong.

Return is big, it's bombastic, it's fast-paced, and it's unabashedly silly. Where Dawn and Day had moments of quiet introspection, and really dealt with the ramifications of living in a world where humanity is slowly being eaten alive (literally) by a mindless untiring threat, Return has a bunch of teens dancing naked in a graveyard while skeletons pop up out of the ground and ring the police to have them send food. This didn't feel like a foundation upon which an entire subgenre would be built, it felt like a goofy 80s horror flick. (And that's a good thing!)

This movie really played fast and loose with the established canon (what little there was), as was likely their intent. Zombies run, zombies talk, zombies explain what it feels like to be a zombie, and they aren't killed by a shot to the brain. They're basically just... people, that are now immortal, and in constant pain that only goes away when they eat brains. On one hand that's ridiculous and a bit slapstick when body parts flop around and grab at a guy's pants, and on the other hand that is EXISTENTIALLY TERRIFYING.

I loved this film. I loved the premise (give me a movie sequel where the previous movie exists in-universe, I'll take it any day of the week), I loved the tone, and I loved the action. Maybe make the characters a tad bit less BONKERS next time, but otherwise this thing was a barrel of fun from beginning to end. (And what an end!)

Overall Rating: 9/10 Secret Nazi Embalmers

Favorite Background Detail: The soda machine in the first scene with a sign that says "Caution: Caustic Soda"