Review #129: Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

This review was originally written in October 2021.

October 2021 Horror Movie Review #15- Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

Normally, I would try not to compare a movie to the game it was based on- I would try to just judge it on its own merits, provided the film itself was trying to be judged as such.

When the first movie came out, I understood that it wasn't trying to recreate the exact plot and characters of the game: it was instead trying to create a new story that involved a lot of the same elements as the game, that evoked the experience of the game without actually BEING the game. (Whether it accomplished this is up for debate.) The most noteworthy part being that the movie did not involve any of the main characters- no Chris Redfield, no Jill Valentine, not even an Albert Wesker to be seen. Instead we had Milla Jovovich's Alice character (who I swear never said her actual name in the movie; maybe I just always missed it but both today and when I watched this movie back in 2004 I was surprised to hear her name for the first time). I remember thinking it was a little silly that she was doing wall-jump mid-air flip-kicks against zombie dogs in the hive, but whatever, it was a big-budget action movie, so do what you want. If anything it just established that this wasn't a movie adaptation of Resident Evil, it was its own thing.

Then this movie comes along... and kind of twists that completely, except also not? This one brings in Jill Valentine, and acts like we should know who she is. It has a big Nemesis monster sent to kill S.T.A.R.S. members, and acts like we should know who they are. Quite a bit of this film is based around Jill and Carlos, the two protagonists of the third Resident Evil game, but like... I don't understand why? Is this supposed to be an adaptation of the game series, or is it its own thing? Because if it's supposed to be its own thing, then we need to be told who these characters are and why they matter. If Jill wasn't one of the people who shut down the T-Virus facility, then why does Umbrella want her dead? If this were just an abrupt change into an adaptation of the third game, that would be one thing, but then Alice shows up- to recap, Alice was basically a newer, bigger, better, cooler version of Jill because they didn't want to use Jill for whatever reason- and suddenly everyone, including Jill, is fawning over how new, big, and cool Alice is. Jill shoots one zombie, Alice has to shoot two zombies. Jill is fighting off a licker, Alice shows up on a motorcycle and shoots a cross off the wall to crush that very same licker. That's the crux of the problems with this film: it feels like very bad, very amateur fanfiction, and Alice is either the author-insert character, or (and this is actually true) the author's girlfriend that he wrote in as the cooler character that has to show up all of the canon characters.

Bad fanfiction aside, the characters in this film are simply AWFUL. Jill's introduction to the movie has her strutting into the police station wearing a tube top and miniskirt, pulling out a gun and firing into a crowd of civilians, and then spouting a one-liner before strutting out of the scene. Carlos jumps out of a helicopter while firing two guns in freefall to save some doomed woman from a zombie horde, all while his commanding officer tells him their orders are to sit there and watch this woman die. Blackie McBlackerson Pimp Esquire's introduction to the movie is something involving a cadillac, custom gold guns tucked into his waistband, and some jive ebonics while he ogles some prostitutes until he crashes his car. All of the characters are such caricatures that I can't even exaggerate their traits because they're already pumped up to eleven, and as far as I can tell it's all in service of allowing Alice to be EVEN COOLER.

And in the end, this is nothing resembling a horror film- it quickly devolves into just a flipping, shooting gun-fu action movie with mutant monsters and psychic powers. This movie was confused, it was misguided, and it so clearly wanted everyone to like it better than the game. I had hope that it would be a cool story of its own but now I fear it's just going to be more Alice-OC-Please-Don't-Steal Fanfiction.

Overall Rating: 3/10 Cartoonishly Evil Incompetent Villains

Fun Bit of Trivia: Apparently multiple members of Evanescence had roles as zombie extras in this film?