Review #144: Zombieland (2009)

This review was originally written in October 2021.

October 2021 Horror Movie Review #30- Zombieland (2009)

First things first: After watching this movie I spent the rest of the day craving twinkies. I think we know why.

This was definitely a fun movie. I saw it back when it came out, and I can say I appreciated it more this time around, but I also think parts of it don't quite hold up. Apparently this script started as a TV pilot, that got re-worked into a feature film- with the "Zombie Kill of the Week" being a remnant of this original idea. I think it would have been really interesting as a TV show, but I'm sure it would have been so different that it's hard to say whether it would have been as good or not.

While on the topic of the "Zombie Kill of the Week", I think that's one thing that doesn't really fit the movie as we see it. Two of the mentioned ZKotWs involve other characters not part of the main group, so like, who are those people and what happened to them? Who TF is Sister Cynthia Knickerbocker, and how did she survive the last two months? How does Columbus know she exists, to tell us about her awesome kill? And how did she hang a piano from the second story of a building during a zombie apocalypse? It's a funny moment but it makes ZERO sense in the continuity of the film.

Another thing that doesn't make sense: the rules on how people become zombies are quite inconsistent. When Columbus let 406 into his apartment, they fell asleep on the couch and some significant amount of time (hours?) passed before she turned. However, the opening of the movie shows a long montage of situations that could only occur if the change was near-instantaneous. They're largely played for laughs, and this isn't a HUGE problem with the movie, but since this film is constantly bringing up rules, it seems odd for something to be so inconsistent.

Speaking of which though, I really like the throughline of Columbus' rules for surviving the apocalypse. It's fun, it shows the writers were genre savvy, and it serves as a good setup for many of the situations that arise over the course of the story. I think I'm coming to learn that I like movies with well-established rules for their supernatural stuff; like in Army of the Dead, when they expressly state the different types of zombies and what their capabilities are. I like that way more than when some movies have slow zombies, some movies have fast zombies, and some have an inconsistent mix.

Oh, one more thing that bothered me: the amusement park scene is a great setpiece, but it also makes less sense the more you think about it. Why did the girls think it was some kind of a safe haven when it was clearly abandoned and locked? Also, why WAS it abandoned and locked when the outbreak seemingly happened so suddenly that gas stations were still operational and lights were still on everywhere they went? I also thought it was lame that Wichita and Little Rock needed to be rescued by the male leads despite having been so capable for the rest of the film, and it's especially ridiculous to imagine what scenario could possibly have led to them strapping themselves into the drop tower ride, that there is clearly NO way out of. What possibly could have happened that caused them to think, "Let's get onto this ride with no possible exit, somehow the zombies chasing us will leave us alone"? It just doesn't make any sense. But it set up Columbus being the hero, so I guess it was worth it?

All in all this was a fun film and I'm quite interested in the sequel!

Overall Rating: 7/10 Discarded Sno-Balls

Fun Little Blast From the Past: There's a point where the group are complaining about Facebook, and Columbus jokingly recites a Facebook status. Not only is it funny since Jesse Eisenberg went on to play Mark Zuckerberg the following year, but the Facebook status style that he quotes hasn't existed in about ten years. Y'all remember that?