Review #156: The Love Witch (2016)


This review was originally written in 2022.

Gabe's 100 Bucket List Horror Films Review #11 - The Love Witch (2016)

It's been a while since I've written one of these, almost as if some other piece of popular media has been taking up 99% of my free time. (Something elden. And ring-like.) To tell the truth, I even watched this movie over a month ago, and haven't felt like writing about it until now (and I'm only really doing it now because I have another, much better movie to write about and I need to get this one out of the way). So, that probably gives away how much I did or didn't like this one.

Simply put, this movie wasn't great. Aesthetically it's a delight- they spent a lot of time and effort making it look and feel like a movie from the 70s, and to that end, they did a bang-up job. It really did look and feel like a cinematic treat from yesteryear, back when movies didn't need to be particularly enjoyable, because Golly, there's color pictures moving on the silver screen!

Whether it was intentional or not, I just didn't find this movie interesting or enjoyable. Every scene was slow, the dialogue (while accurate to other movies of the period) wasn't engaging, and I really didn't much care for any of the characters or what they were trying to do. In service of full disclosure, I didn't even watch the whole movie- my wife and I got to about the 75% mark, both of us were ready for it to be over, and when we saw there was still so much of it left to finish, we just skipped around through the last 25% and made guesses at what we thought was happening. And at no point have I felt the need to go back and actually finish watching it, because I just didn't care.

It's the cardinal sin of a movie to be boring, and well, this movie seems to be fine with sinning.

Overall Rating: 2/10 Witch Bottles

A Secondary Complaint: Too much artwork of boobs! Sorry, but I don't think it added anything to this already-lackluster film.

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