Review #172: Return of the Living Dead (1985)

This review was originally written in 2022.

Gabe's 100 Bucket List Horror Films Review #27: Return of the Living Dead (1985)

I watched this film for the first time last year, and of all of the zombie movies I've seen it was the one that took me the most by surprise. After acclimating myself to the subgenre with slower-paced films like Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead, this split-off entry was an utter delight with its different take on the zombie experience. This one jumps right into the cheesy 80s action with all of the classic archetypes (like the group of friends that somehow encompasses goth, punk, prep, and more all in the same group), and it spices up every scene with snappy dialogue, witty banter, and twists and turns that keep the story moving. The pacing of this film is INCREDIBLE, to the point where I started this rewatch 100% sure it was going to be two hours or more, because of the sheer amount of scenes and events that I remembered happening. Instead it's a pretty standard 90ish minutes, it's just paced incredibly well and they managed to pack tons of fun stuff into its runtime!

I also want to say that of all of the portrayals of zombies that I've seen, this one is undoubtedly the most terrifying. These zombies don't spread the disease to anyone they bite (at least... I don't think they do, they sort of spread it to a couple people in this one, but for the most part it's spread by the chemical that created the zombies in the first place) but with that aside, the actual zombies themselves are existentially horrifying. They're fast, they're smart, and most importantly, they're unkillable. Hacking a zombie to pieces and then having the pieces chase after you, all the while the head is able to explain to you that their existence is perpetual torture and eating your brain is the only way to (temporarily) relieve the pain of undeath, is so much more terrifying than anything I've seen in any of Romero's films.

I just can't overstate how FUN this movie is- it's bombastic, it's snappy, it's exciting, it's funny, and I can't believe I went three and a half decades of my life before ever seeing this movie. There's a lot of reasons to love Return of the Living Dead, and I'll recommend it any day of the week!

Overall Rating: 9/10 Secret Nazi Embalmers

Favorite Background Detail: The soda machine in the first scene with a sign that says "Caution: Caustic Soda"