Review #337: Easter Casket (2013)

October 2025 Holiday Horror Review #10 - Easter Casket (2013)

[This movie does not appear to be streaming anywhere for free; I had to pay $3 for a two-day rental on Vimeo to watch it myself. I don't recommend anyone else do so, but if you want, be my guest.]

Where to begin?

Easter Casket is a low-budget shot-on-video movie about a Catholic priest with a magical Iron Man suit who is following the commands of Mega Pope, trying to stop the apotheosis of an ancient deity. (No part of that was a joke, it's in the actual movie.) You see, back in the day, Peter Cottontail- aka the Easter Bunny- aka the Mesopotamian fertility god Tammuz- was defeated by the Christian god and left in a weakened state. After thousands of years he has regained power by manipulating the Catholic church into adopting various pagan rituals into their celebration of Christ's death and resurrection- iconography of rabbits, eggs, chocolate, and so on- so that power would be funnelled to Tammuz. This movie takes place in the modern day when a group of clergy (a priest, a few nuns, and some catholic schoolgirls) have arranged to speak to a bishop about removing these pagan icons from their traditions, so Tammuz has emerged (in fuzzy vested rabbit form) to complete a profane, sexual ritual that will restore him to godhood, and the only person that stands in his way is our magically-armored priest, Father Asher.

So, this movie is terrible. There's really not any other way to put it. It doesn't take itself too seriously and I'm sure it was a lot of fun to make, but this movie is terrible. Something like 30% of it is essentially softcore porn (and I'm being quite lenient by calling it "softcore") and the video and sound quality are both atrocious. The camerawork is almost entirely extreme closeups (to hide the fact that every single scene seems to have been shot in a hotel room), every different camera shot has a different degree of background noise than every other shot, the volume levels are up and down and most of the audio is so muffled it made all of the dialogue incredibly difficult to understand. Technically speaking, this movie is ass.

That being said, this was a LOT of fun to watch with friends and make fun of it for its entire runtime. As I said earlier, it clearly doesn't take itself too seriously (there's an entire scene of cheap bunny puppets having sex and doing drugs, Tammuz kills a guy by firing bunny poops out of his butt at bullet speed, and there is a Zordon-esque floating magical head of Mega Pope that shows up a couple times to give Father Asher guidance and grenades. It's simply too absurd to not laugh at, from the many gratuitous striptease scenes to the end sequence where the puppet of Peter Cottontail has become a kaiju destroying the city as toy cars and toy helicopters are thrown at him.

I don't think anyone will have a fun time watching this movie (unless you have a lot of friends and some popcorn), but you're all welcome to try.

Overall Rating: 3/10 Jellybeans With Birds Inside Them So When You Eat Them A Swarm of Birds Eats You From the Inside Out

Title Spoilers: There is nothing resembling a casket in this movie. As I predicted about twenty minutes in, the title is purely a pun someone came up with, possibly before the movie had even been written.