Gabe Reviews Horror

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 13: Jason Goes to Hell- The Final Friday I knew I had to do a Friday the 13th movie (since it was, you know, Friday the 13th), so I decided to watch one that I haven't already seen. The only options were this one, or Jason X. So I went with this one. This was an... interesting take on a Friday the 13th movie, to say the least. I like how it started out- I liked the idea of a special ops team setting up a sting operation to catch Jason Voorhees, because if he was the unstoppable supernatural being that the past couple movies have set him up to be, the world WOULD know about him by this point (which is a fact so many franchises don't even bother to acknowledge). The actual method for attracting Jason was a little weird (he supposedly goes after immoral people taking drugs and having premarital sex- the movie even points this out at least once- but the girl in the opening was by herself, just taking a sho

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 11: American Poltergeist I don't have a ton to say about this movie; it was really bad. Low budget, terrible acting, the dialogue was stilted and unlike anything anyone would ever say in real life, and for being called "American Poltergeist" you'd assume a poltergeist would be the main antagonist of the movie, right? Instead, I guess there's a poltergeist present, but virtually all of the kills (more on that in a moment) are done by a woman who's working with the poltergeist, not the poltergeist itself. Notice I didn't say she was possessed; she wasn't. As far as I could tell she was in full control of her faculties, and when all of the kills occurred the poltergeist was standing nearby just... watching, I guess? And for that matter, is it really a poltergeist when it has a physical form? I don't think so. This movie unravels more and more as you study it. The kills in thi

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 10: Rings After watching The Ring twO yesterday, I figured I might as well go ahead and watch the reboot (or whatever this is). I hoped it was going to be good- and it started off kind of interesting. The first portion of the movie's concept is neat: a college professor stumbles across the old VHS tape and (somehow) figures out its mechanics, and then proceeds to turn it into a science project. He organizes a group of college students to watch the tape, then they convince someone else to watch it, and so on and so on, so that he can study Samara and determine what it means about the nature of a soul and the afterlife. Cool, right? Well, if that were the focus of the movie then I'd say this sounds like a great movie. Instead, much like the cursed tape portion of The Ring twO, it goes on for about twenty minutes and then is completely forgotten. Instead, the movie follows a different character who watche

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 9- The Ring twO I remember watching The Ring in theaters when it first came out, and I remember absolutely loving it (or, at the very least, it terrified me so much I remember having difficulty even just talking about it with friends a few days later). Since this was around the time I started getting interested in horror movies, for a long time The Ring was the last movie that I could remember truly scaring me. So, when it occurred to me that it's been twelve years and I had still never watched the sequel, I thought, what better time? Frankly, I wish I hadn't. This movie was bad. Really bad. To start, Naomi Watts (who is very good in lots of other movies, including Funny Games, which I just watched the other day and came out around this time) is just awful in this. Second, the kid who plays her son does an awful job as well- for the first half of the movie his only expression is "look of bemusemen

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 9: 13 Demons I saw this in the Horror section of Netflix and thought I'd give it a try. The premise is a fun idea- three friends find an old banned board game and try it out, but it drives them crazy and they start murdering people because they think it's all part of the game. Sounds like fun, right? The movie starts off fun (though it's clearly low-budget and there's a lot of technical issues, like much of the dialogue being poorly ADR'd in- though they mask a lot of the issues with clever camerawork and effects) but by the midpoint of the movie it gets incredibly dull. Any sort of plot is laid bare fairly early on, so it's just kind of a matter of waiting as it unfolds,  and there's a big like 30-minute chunk of the movie that's just two of the main characters arguing with each other in what was supposed to sound like faux-medieval language. There's a tiny twist near the v

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 6: Funny Games Wow. So, there's a lot to unpack here. First off, this movie is one of the most genuinely terrifying and unsettling movies I've ever seen, and certainly the most so I've seen in the last year. I don't know if it's just because home invasion seems to be a recurring fear of mine, or also the way this movie is set up, with the way the tension builds, then subsides, and then builds again; this movie was horrifying, but I couldn't stop watching. It's got some weird bits though. First, there's a big section right in the middle where the pace really, really slows down; I'm sure it's meant to contrast the constant tension from the entire film before and after that, but this was the only portion of the movie where I seriously considered stopping it and finished the rest of the movie later. Second, there's some really bizarre fourth-wall-breaks in this movie tha

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 5: Abattoir I found this movie kind of hard to follow for most of it, which is disappointing because I feel like all of the components were really good. The plot started off really really interesting- the main character's sister's (I think?) family gets murdered, and when she tries to investigate the house where it happened (which has been sold, very soon after) she realizes the entire room where the murders took place is gone. Like, someone came in and stripped away the walls and ceiling and everything in the room. She looks into it further, and finds out that there's been a series of bizarre murders where immediately afterwards the builders are purchased, and somehow the room of the murders are gutted and removed. Then the movie gets into this weird space in the middle where the main character travels to some backwater town where everyone is rude and nobody answers any of her questions, and it tu

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October Day 4: The Ouija Experiment 2: Theatre of Death (aka The Ouija Resurrection) Full disclosure: This is a sequel and I have never seen the original. At least I don't think I have. However, I can't imagine this movie being any better if I had. This movie was so awful I spent basically the entire movie debating whether it was intentionally bad or not. But in the end I decided that no, I'm fairly certain this was meant to be a serious movie. It's bad, but not so obviously bad that they clearly meant to make a bad film; rather, everything about it is just barely sub-par enough to make it an embarrassment for everyone involved. The thing that caught my attention the most for being so bad was the acting. I'm guessing this movie was extremely low-budget (as indicated by... well, everything), but how expensive is it to get actors that can actually act instead of just read lines off a page? Was there a p

This review was originally written in October 2017. Horror Movie October day 3: Viral Full disclosure: I'm sick and miserable today so that probably colored my perception of this movie. But overall I found this movie incredibly hard to follow because it felt like nothing happened for most of it. It's a story of two sisters caught in the middle of some sort of an outbreak (more on that later) and they're.... trying to reach their dad? Or something? I don't know. Nothing happened for the first thirty minutes of the movie (even after the outbreak started, it was just kind of the characters hanging out) and once it did the pacing was just really off. I could never tell what the stakes were because at one point the government is like hunting down people who are infected, but then the next moment they're gone and one of the characters is taken to a hospital which is still in operation and not at all swarmed with infected people, but then the next moment government helicop

This review was originally written in October 2017. Movie #2- 13 Cameras I thought this movie had a neat premise. A pair of soon-to-be-parents move into a new house with a creepy landlord, who (unbeknownst to them) has installed a ton of secret cameras that we never see but are to assume are totally hard to notice and not at all incredibly obvious high-grade film cameras. The wife is pregnant, and the husband is having an affair while his wife is pregnant. The pregnant wife is pregnant and she pregnants all over the place and then the landlord of the pregnant wife has a secret pregnant bunker under the house of the pregnant wife and she's pregnant pregnant pregnant. Oh, did I forget to mention she's pregnant? The movie sure didn't, they made sure to mention it multiple times literally every scene because maybe you forgot! In all seriousness, this movie tried as hard as it could to portray the landlord as the most offputting person possible, and the husband is a complete and

This review was originally written in October 2017. Most Likely to Die is about a bunch of young adults having a party for their ten-year high school reunion, and then people start dying one by one (in accordance with their "Most Likely to..." titles- so, the one Most Likely to Eat Anything is killed by having a lacrosse stick shoved down his throat, and so on). There are some serious issues with this movie. First, this is their ten-year reunion, which means I've been out of high school longer than they have. Do high schools still do "Most Likely to..." awards? If so, do they include things that equate to "Class Drunk" and "Class Slut"? From what I can tell that trend started dying out in the 80's, and by the time I graduated (again, a few years BEFORE this movie's graduation would have taken place) the awards were so incredibly tame and noncommittal that nobody gave them any weight whatsoever. (I was "Class Vocalist", becau

After several people told me they enjoyed my reviews the first year and expressed disappointment at the idea of me not doing it in 2017, I decided to go ahead and subject myself to another month of movie reviews. Looking back at my posts, it seems I played it a bit fast and loose with my picks this time around- some of the movies I reviewed were still in theaters, and many of the others were ones I'd had on my Netflix watch list and I was just trying to clear them out. Also, either Facebook has lost some of my reviews, or I skipped numerous days this month, because there a bunch of days unaccounted for- altogether I was only able to find 22 reviews from October 2017 (and one of them was only a single sentence but I'm counting it anyway). Also, I was as shocked as anybody else to notice this, but apparently I didn't write any reviews for 2018? I've always talked about possibly skipping a year (it's a lot of work, after all) but I didn't realize I'd actually d

This blog post was originally written in October 2016. Day 31: A Month of Horror in Retrospect Since I had seen all of the alternates on the list, today I decided to not watch a movie and simply enjoy the holiday. I wanted to say thank you all for following my progress through the month, and I hope you were inspired to watch more horror yourselves! Here's some breakdowns from the last month: Best movie: The Voices. It was just such an out-of-nowhere film that really got my interest and struck me to my core on a deep psychological level. Worst movie: I think it's a toss-up between A Girl Walks Home At Midnight and Under the Skin. A Girl... was just so dull, but at the same time I have no clue what Under the Skin was about and I'm not entirely convinced the director did either. I guess I'd be willing to watch Under the Skin again if it meant I'd actually be able to make sense of it, but I wouldn't watch A Girl... again. Best Foreign Film: Troll Hunter. It was a su

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 30: Creep I kept going back and forth between whether this movie was good or bad; in the end I would say it's better than average. It was at times quite original, and at others utterly predictable. I think it did a good enough job at pacing the scares so that it wasn't as bland as most found footage movies- the vast majority have the exact same structure of slow rising action for an hour and twenty minutes and then a sudden climax and then it's over, whereas this one has a mini-climax at the middle, then some back-and-forth, and then the actual climax is incredibly slow and methodical, to the point where it's actually neat that they put a goofy jumpscare at the end. One thing that I found incredibly frustrating, though, is that this goes against the found footage grain by having the character "get away" halfway through the film, his footage intact. But then the whole time I'm yelling at the screen, &q

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 29: Black Death Alright, I really didn't care for this movie. The first half was just... uninteresting, for lack of a better term, and while the second half definitely caught my attention and I was invested in what was happening, it ends really suddenly but adds in like a ten-minute epilogue of sorts. I might have cared about that epilogue if I had really cared about the main character, but I didn't. The whole ending just had a really odd structure and just didn't feel like it fit the rest of the movie. I don't know if I should have liked this movie or I'm justified in not liking it. On one hand, it had a few actors I like- it has that guy that was in Les Miserables, it has that guy that tortured Captain Picard, it has that guy who's always dying in every movie (spoilers: he dies in this movie), and it has a guy who looks like Colin Farrell but totally isn't Colin Farrell. But although it's in a med

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 28: A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night Wow. Uh, what to say about this movie? It's an Iranian black-and-white film that takes place in an indeterminate 50's-style era. I don't think I would call it a horror movie, but for the life of me I can't figure out what I would call it instead. I mean, it has a vampire in it, so I guess horror would be the natural choice, but... I don't know. It's not really scary or particularly atmospheric, it's not funny, it's not thrilling, it's just... artsy, but I don't think "artsy" is a genre. It almost feels (mainly because of the ending) like a romance movie, but even that doesn't sound right. Overall I wouldn't say I liked this movie. I can tell the director really had a vision in mind when making it, but I either couldn't tell what was going on for most of the movie or there wasn't anything going on for most of the movie. And it did

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 27: Honeymoon It turns out I've seen this movie before- I didn't recognize it by the name (it's so descriptive, I know) but I think I watched this a couple years ago. I think this was a really good film- apparently it didn't make a big impact on me the first time, but this time around I could definitely appreciate it when compared to so many other movies I've watched this month. I think it does a great job of setting up the chemistry between the main characters and the location where it takes place, and this all really pays off once things start going south. Similar to The Voices, this movie really hits home with the type of horror it's putting forth- the idea of a loved one having (what seems to be) a psychotic break at such a pivotal point in a person's life would be so terrifying, it's no wonder someone decided to make a horror movie about it. Overall I think this is a great movie, and I don'

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 26: An American Werewolf in London This movie was a definite uptick in quality compared to the previous two films I've watched. The characters are good enough, the plot is nothing too special by today's standards (though I'm sure it was great for its time), but as I'm sure anyone who's seen the film can attest, the special effects were absolutely amazing. The first transformation scene is honestly one of the best uses of practical effects I've ever seen, and it's so sad to think that nowadays it would just be CGI unless the director was making a point to only use practicals. In any case, IMDB says that this movie was the first ever Academy Award winner for Best Makeup, and I don't think they could have chosen a better movie for it. Also, while not as big of a feature as the effects, the soundtrack for this film is phenomenal! I think it's interesting how notably un-atmospheric most of the movie

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 25: We Are What We Are Another alternate. It may be film fatigue talking, but this movie just didn't grab me at all. The pace is incredibly slow, almost nothing happens for the first half of the runtime, and it felt like the movie was trying to come across as some kind of a "twist" except if it was meant to be a twist, I saw it coming literally within the first five minutes (and if it wasn't supposed to be a twist, then the movie puts wayyyyy to much weight on simple things and is purposefully cryptic about what the characters are doing until past the halfway point). I'm sure the actors and production staff were doing their best and putting forth a good effort, but the premise was just so predictable that I knew what I was in for right from the start. Literally the only thing in the movie that I didn't see coming before it happened was the plot being solved through medical knowledge. (And, well, I guess t

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 24: I Saw the Devil Well, this was an odd movie. It was incredibly long (I'm sure they could have, at the very least, cut it below two hours) and there were about four times where it felt like the movie was about to end and it would have been satisfying. But instead, it just kept going. Also, I would never have called this a horror movie. There was some suspense, yes, but it was an action movie, plain and simple. I really didn't care for the characters, though they weren't necessarily poorly-written. I understand the main character's journey is supposed to be a complex one, but is there ever a point where you're supposed to be rooting for him? After the first thirty minutes or so, he's constantly doing something that seems heroic (catching the killer and then subduing him), but then he follows it up immediately by doing something idiotic (such as giving the killer a bunch of money and letting him go kill tw

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 23: Hush This movie was very, very well made. I always applaud any writer who is willing to give themselves some significant handicap when writing- having to make a compelling movie, then, about a deaf person and without being able to rely on dialogue is a big step and forced them to work that much harder to make a compelling story. It's a breath of fresh air every time a slasher film comes out that doesn't rely on the main characters being stupid- I always say, if your story is ruined by a character acting intelligently, then your story was ruined from the start. That said, one thing I don't understand is, why did the main character never go back to get the friend's phone? She tries to get it at first, then the killer taunts her by placing it within reach right outside the window. In the many times when she knows he's somewhere else, why did she not nip over, grab the phone, and call the police? I suppose it&#

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 22: Let The Right One In This was an incredibly well-made movie. I've already seen it before (as well as the American remake, which I'll get to in a moment) and while I did enjoy it less this time than the first time (largely in part due to a bit of horror movie fatigue at this point) it tells a well-crafted story with a great sense of pace and atmosphere. At its core, this film is a cautionary tale about the dangers of bullying, and the recursive nature of abuse- the "villains" in the film are certainly the children that bully the main character, and through the movie we not only see how their bullying is actively turning the lead into a bitter and violent person, but we also see that the bullying from the main antagonist likely came about because he himself was bullied. It sends a powerful message that is darker and more terrifying than the supernatural main plot could ever be. (There's also something to be

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 21: The Voices Holy crap. Like, holy crap. Wow. I had no idea what I was getting into when I started watching this movie, and the first few minutes really didn't prepare me for what was to come. This movie was, in a word, brilliant. In a few more, hilarious, intelligent, and absolutely terrifying. These days, having been exposed to the sheer amount of horror as I have, it's not really a thing anymore for a movie to scare me; something might momentarily creep me out, or make me feel a bit uncomfortable for a little while. But this movie is the kind of experience that truly, deeply scares me- watching a person with such a clear dissociative disorder, experiencing a world of his own removed from what's real and yet seeing everything as perfectly real and solid to himself, is what really truly terrifies me to the core. Because it makes me wonder, what if I'm like him? What if one day I'm going to realize that I'

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 20: Trollhunter For several reasons, I generally hate found footage movies. That being said, this one was actually quite well done, and I definitely found myself enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would. The framing device for it is a little... uh... stupid (as is usually the case with found footage movies) but the pacing of the movie is really good, and I noticed lots of little tricks they used to keep the CGI monsters' appearances within the realm of plausibility. I really liked the mythology they were building up involving the trolls, and I thought it was really clever how they explained away a lot of questions the viewer might have with just enough pseudoscience to keep it reasonable. I still don't like found footage, though. Rating: 8/10 Circular Power Lines The best way to bandage a wound, according to this movie: Slap some duct tape on your outermost layer of clothing

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 19: The Hallow So I had some difficulties getting a movie today. The original suggestion was 1973's Don't Look Now, which isn't free on Amazon Prime (maybe it was when this list was made, maybe not). So I was going to substitute Don't Look in the Basement (which showed up in the same Amazon search) but that one just looked so awful that I turned it off after five minutes. So I decided to use an alternate from the list, and I'm assuming I chose the right movie (the list suggest "The Hallows", which doesn't seem to exist on IMDB, and there aren't years listed for the alternates so I couldn't check that). In any case, I watched The Hallow. The good: It was genuinely creepy. The idea of any kind of spreading corruption (especially of a biological kind) is definitely one that gets under my skin the most (pardon the pun), and the visual effects for said corruption were definitely unsettling to m

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 18: Tusk My second substitute, I picked this movie because it generated a lot of buzz when it came out for being so bizarre, as well as because it was directed by Kevin Smith. So I guess I had high expectations going in. What to say about Tusk? Well, it was good- really good- ....at first. The first half of the movie was genuinely interesting and it did a great job of building up to the horror you knew was coming. When the villain began his diabolical plan, I was horrified for the main character and what was coming. But like the Titanic (the boat, not the movie) this ocean liner of film was headed for an iceberg. That is, the last third of the movie. Once Justin Long's character undergoes his transformation, I just couldn't take the movie seriously anymore. The costume he was in looked absolutely ridiculous- with no exaggeration, it looked like he was wearing a rubber suit bought from Hot Topic or something. This film, at

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 17: Tucker and Dale vs. Evil Stupendous movie. I've seen it several times before, and it's always a delight. This movie does an amazing job of not only taking common slasher tropes and inverting them, but also of showing you both sides of the story. Plus, this movie is absolutely hilarious. I feel like it lags a little bit near the end (when they're trying to resolve everything and then the final confrontation) but otherwise this movie is absolutely hilarious and a ton of fun from beginning to end. Rating: 10/10 Doozies of a Day Favorite kill: The kid that jumps straight into the woodchipper

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 16: Rosemary's Baby This movie was... alright, but I wasn't crazy about it. I can definitely see why it's a classic and the atmosphere and the plot are good and all, it just has the same kind of pacing and style that so many older movies (especially horror movies) have- it gets across in an hour what a modern movie gets across in twenty minutes. I'm not saying one style or pace is better or worse than the other, but I'm just less likely to watch a movie that has such a slow pace. The movie did a good job of setting up everything in the plot (the final scene was definitely worth watching the rest of it) and I really liked how so much of the movie is careful to keep the viewer wondering whether something is truly going on or whether it's all in the mind of the female lead. Rating: 6/10 Too-Friendly Neighbors Modern-day Remake title: Rosemary's Baby Daddy

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 15: The Wicker Man At its core, I think this movie is a really interesting, solid murder mystery with a welcome twist at the end. However, any legitimacy it may have had during production is easily drowned out by the sheer absurdity of Nicolas Cage's character. He acts like a complete lunatic for the entire movie, screaming at people and behaving like no sane person ever would, and I don't know if that's the actor's fault or the director's fault or if it was somehow written into the script. I mean, it's still an enjoyable film, but I just can't see any director watching the dailies and thinking to himself, "Yep, this movie is going to be taken seriously. Mhmm." Also, the opening scene for this movie boggles my mind just as much as the rest of the film. It's supposed to be some kind of emotional baggage that the main character is carrying around, likely predicating his eagerness to solve th

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 14:Under the Skin Wtf did I just watch? Apparently this is based on a book? Uh, what? Rating: ?/10 Explanations Needed Percentage of this movie I understood: Zero

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 13: The Babadook This movie received a lot of (well-earned) praise when it first released because it managed to be a scary modern horror movie without having to resort to cheap jump scares. And in this regard, it absolutely succeeds- it's genuinely creepy, there's a lot of tension and character development, and to this day there's plenty of debate as to what exactly is going on in the subtext (or even overt text) in this movie. However, this was the second time I've seen this movie, and it was so hard to make it through the first half because the kid is SO INCREDIBLY ANNOYING. I can not stand any scene he's in because he's just so awful. I know that a big part of the resolution of this movie is about the mom learning to appreciate her son and not be bitter over the loss of her husband, but seriously, knowing that kids like this exist makes me glad I'm not going to have kids. Because holy crap, that kid

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 12: The Host I was not at all expecting to watch a Korean horror film; that being said, when I realized I was watching a Korean horror film, I wasn't expecting this. I'd actually classify this one more as an action film than horror- there's a monster and the monster is scary and all that, but I'd say the plot has more in common with something like Speed, if you just replace the villain with a big monster. Anyway, I really thoroughly enjoyed this film- like I said, I wasn't sure what to expect at first, and the slapstick goofy bits that made up the first twenty minutes or so didn't really prepare me for the gritty, down-in-the-depths thriller that was to come. Now, there's the fact that the inciting incident was so cartoonish and the resolution of the final set piece was a bit odd- yes the main characters just beat the monster, but do you think it's a good idea to kick back and regroup twenty feet fr

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 11: Spring I didn't really like this movie. I just didn't care about the characters- the main character just seems like a generic romantic lead with no real character traits aside from the fact that his mom died. Then he goes off and decides to live in Italy like so many melodramatic college freshmen aspire to do, with no plan or anything, and everything works out for him. The female lead is a bit more interesting, but only because she's got some weird (non-supernatural, as the movie would have us believe) stuff going on. Aside from that, she's an equally bland female lead who is constantly mirroring the advances of the male lead. I guess most of my complaints stem from the fact that this really isn't a horror movie, it's a romance. As horror has its tropes, romance does as well, and this movie has them in spades. Rating: 3/10 Early-movie setups that go nowhere Topics this movie clearly does not understand:

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 10: Housebound I really enjoyed this movie! I was not at all sure what to expect and it surprised me. I thought it dealt with atmosphere and suspense well, and the jump scares were done very well too (quite unlike We Are Still Here, which on at least one level is the same type of movie). I'd say the weakest point in the movie was the action-y part near the end, but the conclusion worked well enough that it didn't ruin the movie or anything. The only real problems I had watching the movie were unrelated (a certain sword-wielding puppy just wouldn't stop barking) and overall it was very good. One criticism that comes to mind though: A big part of how the main character solves this mystery involves technology that doesn't quite make sense given the movie's time frame. For example, it gets kick-started when she hears a cell phone ringing (ringing for like four minutes straight- sorry, no way at all that it wouldn&#

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 9: The Mist All in all, this is a great movie. I'd seen it before, so it didn't have the full impact as the first time, but it was still great. I don't know of many movies that have done nearly as good of a job of creating atmospheric dread as this movie; the mist itself, the claustrophobic mob-mentality scenes, and the hopelessness that everyone has throughout. The ending segment of the movie, with them driving around, is absolutely terrifying- this movie does so much while showing so little, it's just amazing. The creature design is so otherworldly and creepy- I love it. That being said, the first half of the movie feels kind of lacking to me, and I think it's because of the dialogue and the character motivations. The first scene in the grocery store has each character ham-fistedly summing up who they are in one sentence (in ways people don't normally speak when buying their groceries) and I really feel i

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 8: We Are Still Here My first substitute (since I don't have HBO Go, otherwise I'd be watching Deep Blue Sea) and I have to say, it really wasn't very good. With the exception of the special effects (which are actually very, very well done and creepy), this movie looked like it was made by someone who had to make a video for his Intro to Film class and was only taking the class because he needed two more credits to graduate. It has plenty of hallmarks of lazy/amateur filmmaking- establishing shots of scenery that are held for about ten seconds too long, dialogue scenes that break the 180 degree rule, an unnecessary plot dump between side characters halfway through the film, and (a popular trend among bad modern horror movies) plenty of poorly-executed jump scares. Now don't get me wrong, there's a good way to make a jump scare and a bad way to make one- as a rule of thumb, if you intend for your jump scare to s

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 7: Bone Tomahawk Interesting movie; I'm not generally a huge fan of Westerns and although this one held my interest I don't know if I'd ever watch it again. The movie just kind of starts off with everyone miserable, and it just gets worse and worse as it goes on. (The misery of the characters, not the quality of the movie.) I definitely enjoyed it and I'm glad I watched it, but like I said, I probably won't watch it again anytime soon. Rating 7/10 Trained Fleas "You know, I know the world's supposed to be round, but I'm not so sure about this part."

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 6: The Invitation An incredibly uncomfortable movie, I spent the first 3/4 of the film expecting it to turn out that the main character was just crazy and that there was nothing sinister going on. (I think that would be a really interesting take on this type of film.) In any case, the ending really worked for me, and the last ten seconds made my jaw drop. So, good movie. Rating: 8/10 Awkward Cult Videos John Carroll Lynch's Most Memorable Role to Me: Drew Carrey's brother on the Drew Carrey Show

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 5: Tremors Great movie! I saw this when I was kid, more than twenty years ago. It was still scary today. I love how the writers were able to make the monsters the perfect blend of bestial and cunning- you never knew what they were going to do, and when they did it, it was terrifying. Rating: 10/10 Wrong rec rooms Most annoying character: Melvin or whatever that stupid kid's name was

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 4: From Dusk Till Dawn. I had some issues with the audio at the beginning (namely, the actors in the first scene were talking extremely quietly and I couldn't understand a word they were saying) but after that it was actually a very fun romp. I had a few problems with the pacing. The trailers would have you believe the movie takes place in a Mexican bar, but they don't get there until halfway through the movie, and the big fight scene that happens there is over very, very quickly. And there were several scenes where it seemed like they cut out a significant amount of scene or just edited it really really weird- like when the brother comes back from the dead, first he looks all weird like a vampire, then there's two shots where he looks normal again (for a moment I thought maybe he was turning sane?) but then the camera cuts back and he looks weird again without any attention drawn to it. And that seems like it's go

  This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 3: Just watched Pontypool! I'm already quite familiar with this film, and have watched it plenty of times in the past. However, it was still nice to watch it again and actually pay close attention. This is a really cool movie that does a lot of things I like- first, it's almost entirely in one location (a radio studio, which happens to be in a church basement) and it's also a completely unique take on the zombie genre. Definitely worth a watch for anyone who hasn't seen it. Now, to be fair though, it still has some flaws. There are a few scenes around the middle that seem really oddly placed (like when Stephen McHattie's character has a breakdown and decides to go outside, it doesn't really make much sense to me and seems like its sole purpose is to bring about an escalation in the tension, which happens very suddenly and then doesn't go anywhere for quite a while afterwards- also, the obituaries sect

This review was originally written in October 2016. Day 2: I just watched The VVitch with my wife. It was... a movie, I guess, but that's pretty much all I can give it credit for. It seemed like it was going to be something interesting, but I can't help but feel like nothing... happened, or at least the plotting of the movie was "this thing happens, then this thing happens, then this thing happens, and then the credits roll". I don't really feel like the characters had any kind of arc or like they affected the world around them in any way. (I feel the same way about the movie Lords of Salem- I don't feel like the story had any kind of structure to it.) Also, I can't help but dock the movie a couple points because of the old-english dialogue. I understand they're trying to be period-appropriate or whatever, but I consider myself a fairly intelligent person and I had to actively work just to understand each line as it was spoken. Would the movie really h

This review was originally written in October 2016. Just watched Jaws. I thoroughly enjoyed it! I really liked the character interactions- particularly between Brody and Hooper- and despite the shark itself looking very artificial by today's standards, so little of the focus was on the shark itself that by the time it shows up you're already sufficiently scared of it. Also, the cinematography was excellent, and so many scenes seemed so natural and engrossing compared to many films nowadays. I can definitely see why this movie became a classic, and why it's used as the perfect example of many aspects of filmmaking. Rating: 10/10 shotglass-sized shark teeth "I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch."

These were the first horror reviews I started writing on Facebook, and looking back, I definitely had a lot of room to grow. These first reviews are all pretty short and bereft of detail (I hadn't quite worked out my format yet), but I still think there's some merit in seeing where I started compared to where I'll eventually go. The initial inspiration for this group of movies (and the whole review project in general) was that all of the movies I would watch were readily available on streaming platforms I was subscribed to, but in future years I tried to pick some sort of a theme (and easy streaming was not always a factor). In 2016 I covered the following movies: 1. Jaws (1975) 2. The VVitch (2015) 3. Pontypool (2008) 4. From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) 5. Tremors (1990) 6. The Invitation (2015) 7. Bone Tomahawk (2015) 8. We Are Still Here (2015) 9. The Mist (2007) 10. Housebound (2014) 11. Spring (2014) 12. The Host (2006) 13. The Babadook (2014) 14. Under the Skin (2013) 15. T